Things I’d like to work on.

Writing more. I don’t have the focus or maybe the material for writing. Funny how I have so much to say and nothing really translates well to writing. Could go on and on about my opinion on this or that, but whenever I do, I realize I either don’t really know what I’m talking about or it’s not worth dissection in the first place. Or, worse, somebody has already done a far better job covering my subject. I’m REALLY into this blog by Abraham Piper, which is rich and fresh and witty beyond my meager means. I haven’t ever been able to write like he does. Challies is another that I read all the time and he has years of continuous reading and writing at his back, framed by a massively sharp thinker. What Piper does with words, Challies does with contemplation and neither of their gifts have I. Oh well.

Poetry doesn’t come up on command or I’d be pasting verse up every day. I would love to be flowing with pictures but the tap is very unpredictable. Oh well.

I plan on getting round to another Bible study. Possibly another run through 1st John. Blind, without comparing to my previous study. I think that could reveal a lot about my growth and perspective changes as well as much new insight just because of the work I’ve done in studying doctrine and the Word since the first round. That’ll be nice.

Or I might run through a different book in the Bible. I’m very interested in the Epistles, specially the ecclesiastical themes. Our church study on the Fundamentals of the Faith has been very enjoyable, so maybe combining that with a book study would be really fun. I’m not sure when or how I’ll start that.

I would really like to paint more, but darnit if the mood just leaves and comes as it wills. Like the wind, creative movement like painting and poetry are so unpredictable and touchy. Anything can set me off on a whirlwind of pictures and I can lose touch with the inspiration just as fast.

I can’t really see doing a routine journal thing. That’s not me. I can’t tell about all the stuff I do each day for a number of reasons. The regular junk at work is usually just junk. Shoot, I get more research, Bible study and ideas at work than at home, but I can’t keep focused on writing there with all the real stuff going on. The work at work is just that: work.

And home is home. Chasing kids, trying to be a loving and involved dad while battling the discipline and ever invading ruckus and clutter of a family of 6 is thoughtfulness killing not to mention too engrossing. Though I might sit for an hour at the computer, my mind is on 50 other things at once. There’s so little time to lock down and focus. Usually when the quiet zone appears it is sudden and I’m brain-dead enough to lose all grip with creativity or productiveness.

So it’s incredibly challenging to me to write much, at least on what I really want to write. Or to paint something or even read. I usually manage to hit my Doctrine book or the Bible daily. My Bible study homework from church is a fit-in-when-possible thing. I get my personal study done on the road to and from work by listening to sermons or lectures and then sporadic reading during the day. It’s fairly easy to tell if I’ve done enough for a day when I actually have an article posted here about it. I guess that means I”m not totally in the red for progress.

Can’t complain, of course, since 2 jobs, 4 kids, 1 Wife, Church, Girl Scouts and all the other stuff that’s running life is still allowing me to sit and think for a few minutes a day. Call that grace. I’m ever thankful for it. Good products out of that stuff is being able to help Anika and Heather out on their college homework, breaking up some study stuff for Heather, helping some of the guys out at work with writing. I can’t say I haven’t been writing at all, just not writing what I want to write. It’s not creation from me.

So I’ve been pondering what I can do about it, praying about it and sorta just keeping stuff in the back of my mind. Maybe it’ll come to fruition or maybe the Lord has me running circles for the time being. I guess it’ll come around eventually.

Doesn’t help that I’m pulled in so many artistic directions. Painting, woodcarving, writing, poetry, gardening, reading and all the other stuff that I guess is pastime material are all my passions. How does one know which to do at what time? And which, if I had to give up the others, would be my one true desire? Probably reading, haha, since it requires the least amount of exertion.