A couple things brought me to think for a few about our mission here on earth. Brief forays into some popular evangelists and recent studies at church and home have brought me to this:

What is the chief and highest end of man?

Man’s chief and highest end is to glorify God, and fully to enjoy him forever.

Romans 11:36 For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be glory forever. Amen.

1 Corinthians 10:31 So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.

Above is the Westminster Larger Catechism’s first question and answer. Two reference verses are provided along with the answer.  If you’re interested in more about this, hit the link: Westminster Larger Catechism.

I’ve heard discussion that Catechisms and Confessions are way to Catholic or that they are Man Made or Legalistic junk. This is simply not true, though applications of these resources can certainly be Legalistic with little effort. The facts are that the Catechisms and Confessions are the same thing as if God gave us a written test that required us to put into our own words the Truths he has provided in the Bible. They are a distillation of doctrines that are found, widespread, throughout the Bible.

So, back to the subject at hand, I did a simple search at the ESV website (because that is a Bible translation I find to be as plain English as possible without going funky, cultural or relevant in the process) on glorify.

Click here: GLORIFY

The search found:

23 verses containing glorify.

And all those references were God and Jesus, just for extra credit.
Men glorified God because of what God did to them or for them. Men were commanded to glorify God in their bodies, in all that they did. Christ glorified the Father; the Father glorified Christ. Men glorify God because of his mercy, the Gospel, because of salvation, because of God’s deliverance, because God alone is worthy.

So my conclusion is…

Is God glorified through me? Is his glory evident in my life?

Am I seeking my own glory?

There are a number of evangelists and churches out there who teach about a God who is glorified by glorifying his people. These preach a message that, in essence, God is not glorified more than when his people are prospering, shiny, happy, self-sufficient, healthy, well-dressed, affluent, positive, sparkling.

Wait.  That last one was a reference to some vampire thing, I think. Did that slip in there somewhere? LoL. Side humor, I guess.

Back on topic.

Too many are churches and preachers who are glorified by the numbers they amass to themselves; who are communicating the disease of self-glorification through use of the Name of the Most High One. Too many of us believe that we bring glory to God by doing stuff that generally improves our personal situation and lives. This has two effects on the people who do not believe.

1. They are attracted to the show and treats offered by these self-help, family-improvement institutions and become well polished pieces of art, pock-marked by flaws that are glossed over with the diamond-hard shellac of superficial self-glorification. Look great, feel great, shot full of holes and dying. They come seeking and find what looks good on the outside and conceals horror on the inside

Matthew 23:27-28 “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs, which outwardly appear beautiful, but within are full of dead people’s bones and all uncleanness. 28 So you also outwardly appear righteous to others, but within you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.”

2. They are repulsed by the completely apparent stupidity of a faith group that claims to be God’s Children, who cannot defend their faith, falter under the first heavy storm in life, clearly fake the miracles, love people to death in hugs and money but do nothing for the soul. Some seekers seek the truth, and they are graced enough with sense to see the absolute inconsistency and corruption when they see it.

Matthew 23:27-28 “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs, which outwardly appear beautiful, but within are full of dead people’s bones and all uncleanness. 28 So you also outwardly appear righteous to others, but within you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.”

I, we, are still under this spell, I think; us post-modern/post-baby-boomer/generation-Y children. We instinctively seem to expect that God will provide, make a way, sugar-coat our lives.

B.S. and I mean it. We have it backwards. Look at the verses again. We’re not doing God a favor by pursuing Glorifying. We’re not getting paid for it.

Romans 12:1 I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.

We owe, not for payment for Services Rendered, but because it is our role as creation. God made us for that purpose.

A friend ran this through the media stream in my direction:

“The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” (Galatians 5:22)

This stuff, right here, is not decoration to make us prettier (though it does just that), nor is it meat that makes us more substantial (though it also does just that). This stuff, the fruit of the Spirit, is what glorifies God, for it is the very characteristics that we should have as the righteous, properly conformed-to-his-original-design creatures that we should be.

Here’s the rub: We can’t do these things on our own and call it glorifying God. God installs these things within us. He takes our intellectual grasp of the fruits, which we vainly attempt to bring about on our own. He takes the understanding and brings it alive in us (re: Holy Spirit) so that we realize the real reason and method and application of the fruit. He makes it clean and pure fruit; sweetness and fragrance directed solely at Him.

No longer do we love others so that we can get their love in return. No more happiness based on those around us. No peace, patience, kindness, gentleness so we can get along well with others. No more goodness, faithfulness based on our own capacity and definition. There is freedom from legalistic and self-flagellating self-control.

Because we love others only because we see God’s love for them and how it glorifies him. Because we find happiness within our relationship with God, which transcends all worldly and bodily hardship. Because we find that peace, patience, kindness and gentleness only serve to Glorify God who alone has the right to vengeance and has demonstrated, through his own works, especially through Christ, that these are greater than fire and hell. Because goodness and faithfulness are found in God, through God and by God’s definition and point directly back to him. Because we constantly strive to limit ourselves from our sinful tendencies in order to glorify God more as the fruit of the Spirit fills the void left by our tidied minds and souls.

In summary: We must find a church, a preacher, a pastime all that focus not on the numbers or the miracles or the benefits of this pseudo-gospel; instead pointing entirely to God, calling us to holiness and the real Gospel which produces people devoted to glorifying the Most High.

As a pastor said, back in Cuba: “O Lord, that they see less of me and more of Thee.”

Short prayer, though I’m not so into praying over the intertubes.

Lord, I can’t seem to make this fruit thing work. I think I understand, through your Word, that I cannot, though I am sure to go back and try again with my own power. Lead me, through my failures, to turn to you for the love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control that should be apparent in my life. Lead me, through my successes, to realize that all of it is of you, through me, but entirely of you, for your glory and nothing more. Make my poverty your glory, my destitute spirit rely upon you for all things because all things must glorify you. Keep me from me and turn me to thee.

Lead me to be

what my beloved most needs

what my children most learn

what my church most should have

what the world should most see

Lead me to be

a lover of you

a servant employed

with but one chief end

your fame my sole joy

I’ve been reading Sproul, Schaeffer, MacArthur, Paul, Peter, Luke and a bunch of other stuff.  I listened to Chuck Colson on the radio, along with Chuck Swindoll, John MacArthur, R. C. Sproul, Dr. David Jeremiah and a host of others (Though I think the local Christian radio station essentially stinks here, being negligent in their commercialism and foul in their screening of advertisers, they do feature the above teachers on their daily casts).  I’ve seen a bit of internet blogging and video as well.   You could say I’m really looking for some answers.

One answer that I feel is most important, so much so that if one were to stop reading this post after the next two sentences, all would be complete.  I have found there is a need for people to hear this and hear it good:

“You are going to argue; you, are going to argue, with WHO?  The Creator of the universe took the time to specially design you, personally pen you a complete, unobscured revelation of Himself, suffer for you on the cross, die for your sins, you profess to believe all this (or not, either way is moot), and you.  actually.  intend.  to disagree with His viewpoint?  Beg pardon?”

Basically, I’m feeling an itch on my foot and it sure seems to be inclined toward shaking the dust off…

I have seriously begun to try wading through the apparent morass of dispensational vs. covenant theologies, and I don’t think I’ve got far with that.  The basic reason for this theological dissection is that I’m from a pretty much dispensational baptist sort of background, intend to attend a reformed presbyterian church (PCA, not PCfrUitS-And-nuts) and I’m informed of the serious difference in ecclesioeschasoteribaptiologies.  There is so much scholarly work on both sides and I can’t seem to make sense of either one.  I am suspicious that this whole debate must be over a mystery that the Lord has not yet uncovered for our amazement or that we just can’t get along.  One thing I will note is that in my reading so far, the dispensies seem to be leading the way in meanness, but that doesn’t mean much since I may well have just not come across their covenant peers-in-arms.

I have seriously continued to try wading through the personally discouraging morass of learning how to love others as the Lord commands.  This has such miserably limited tangible results that I count myself a fairly washed-up washup.  I don’t think I know how to do it.  I pray.  I try it all with as much peace and patience as I can muster, and leave the rest to the Lord.

I see less worth in the worthless things around me.  I see more worth in that which brings less worth in this mortal span.  I am broker than broke, but His richness surpasses my sorry state.  I am tired and feel lost, but when I look to him, which is not often enough, I am alive and feel strong.  I need prayer and not just from those praying for me, but my own prayer.

Why?  Prayer isn’t a magic wand, getting us what we want.  It isn’t a toolbox that, when the right words are pulled from the drawer, gets the Lord convinced to help us out.  Prayer isn’t a self-motivation exercise that allows us to help our selves so that God will help us.  Prayer doesn’t get us those things just cause we do it.

Prayer is a continuous dialogue with our Creator and Master who has deemed it worthwhile to join us in conversation that flows from us in words of praise and adoration, desire and dream, penitence and remorse, fear and devotion, reflecting back upon Him the glory, sovereignty, omnipotence, grace, love and perfection that He already is, only this through our recognition, which essentially magnifies and glorifies Him all the more.  We get what we want not because we want or we need but because He is gracious, sufficient, loving and capable of providing.

We pray this each night before bed, and I strive to take this literally, with the fullest I can grasp of its scope and magnitude:

Our Father, (There is only one, this one, no alternative, not just God, but our Father that surpasses all fatherliness on this planet; the sole example of what father really is.)

Who is in heaven, (Holy and separate from us yet we know where you are.)

Hallowed be your name. (So holy and separate, revered even at just the mention of your name.)

Your kingdom come (Not that it should or that we want it eventually to get there, but that it already has, and will continue to come, acknowledged and awaited.)

Your will be done (Let it be done, make it so, we know that it is and has and shall be, and we acknowledge it with welcome arms.)

On earth as it is in heaven. (Let there be no difference, let us see it here and believe it here and with no question that there is any difference between your methods there or here.)

Give us to day, our daily bread, (For what more can we ask, those daily things that prove our breath and our pulse; and let us keep our mind on these simple things, knowing that all else can be counted as waste on our bellies.)

And forgive our sins (For we are sinners, no doubt that we are, and we have no recourse but to turn to you, you for forgiveness, for restoration, for fitting back onto the course when we have fallen.)

As we forgive those who sin against us. (May I never, never ask for your forgiveness, when I have not let go those offenses against me.  I make your sacrifice, your salvation, a mockery when I in my self-righteousness come to you for that which I will not give my neighbor.)

Lead us not into temptation (Take us far from it as the East is from the West.  Drive us from temptation  with every step we take.)

Deliver us from the evil one (Let me never worry that I have fallen into his nefarious grasp, rather, prevent me from my inclinations toward his ways.  Prevent me from denying you, from placing myself before you in authority, in reverence, in motive.)

For yours is the kingdom (Always and forever, there is no other.)

And the power (There is no power in existence that can twitch even a flicker of a shadow upon your supreme sovereignty.)

And the glory (And there is no glory but your glory, and may I take my need for pride solely  in that fact, that you are my God and your glory is my chief aim in my existence.)

Forever and ever (None of what I have just prayed shall ever change in tone or in value for all eternity.  While I am here on this earth and there in your presence, what more is there to pray?)

Amen. (And that’s final, period, I can say this prayer again, but it really does have the finality of it all built right in)

I have seriously been struck by my lack of discipline, lack of reverence and plain lack of obedience in my little life.  I’ve seen the light in some major areas and am a Penitent Man therewith.  There is a sense of authority that has been welling up in my life that is not my own, but that of the Lord.  I, on the other hand, feel that my ability to control, to will, seems so feeble that it rather hurts.  I haven’t reached a definite point here, nor can I get my head wrapped around it all yet.

Something I heard quoted by Chuck Colson today, which I’ll paraphrase and embellish lalala, resounds in my head like one of the Korean bells from when I was there in 1992, clear and vibrating like nothing else:

Consider the Lord, when surveying the whole of creation, from the great whirling galaxies and the gemstone planets, the trees, the waves, the men and the goats, the grains of sand and the DNA proteins, when he surveys all this, one thing can be heard, his own voice, crying out through all space and time…

“MINE.”

Just my quick thought for the day.

Fellowship

We’re supposed to be accountable.  To God, to each other.

Transparency promotes accountability.

Honesty is integral to transparency.

Communication is required for honesty.

If nobody knows me, my take, my situation, none of these conditions or states exists.

So if I keep my mouth shut, there is no Fellowship in my life.

Then nobody knows me.

God does, but God doesn’t seems to like one-way streets.

How do I know Him if I don’t have accountransparonestability right here in me?  He’s got a thing for Christians being together, working together.  God doesn’t call us to be the soloist all the time.  Rarely, if ever, are we required to be truly alone.  I’ve never been alone.  Not really (though my little voice-from-the-back-of-the-room seems to have the perverse idea that I am, but I’m constantly striving to ignore it).

So I talk.  Sometimes they (They, haha) say too I say too much.  So I say what is here in my mind.  I try to communicate my failure.  I try to communicate my success.  Things I think I’m doing right and doing wrong.

Of the things in my heart and mind, I rarely offer but a small sample.  I realize that to battle the tendency to insulate and hide, I must persist in my attempts to be transparent.  I must persist in making sure my loved ones, my brothers know me.  One small step at a time, revealing my shadows pixel by pixel, is called progress.

I can’t be helped, I can’t be encouraged, I can’t be corrected unless I open my door and let people see my living room.  And my bedroom, and my bathroom, and my closet, and my storage shed.

And, finally, my secret sanctum, that trap door just large enough to admit me, just a Robert-shaped keyhole that nobody else fits.  But that place is not truly a sanctum.  It is that place of torture wherein I relive my failures, store my potential in mothballs and rust; a dust-layered bomb-shelter outfitted with little more than a pallet, chains and reams of moldering papers and half-faded pictures.

And honesty starts by realizing that I have all this.  Transparency starts by widening the aperture that grants access.  Accountability starts by pushing some of that secret archive out into the sunlight.

Weakness pales in the light of the Son.  Shadows fade in the light of the Son.  Words fail in the light of the Son.

I need, I fear, I believe, I fall-have fallen, I trust, I run, I collapse, I lose, I plead, I barely breathe.

Yet I live, for He lives.

Stained glass hides the real insides.

This is the title for Chapter 9 in my study Bible. The passage revisits all sorts of Israelite defiance.

Reading through this chapter reminds me of how I should look at my relationship with the Lord, how I should look at my sin and how I should see Christ and the Spirit as well.

“Do not think in your heart, after the Lord your God has cast them out before you, saying, ‘because of my righteousness the Lord has brought me in to possess this land” (9:4)

“Therefore understand that the Lord your God is not giving you this good land to possess because of your righteousness, for you are a stiff-necked people.” (9:6)

“You have been rebellious against the Lord from the day that I knew you.” (9:24)

The philosophies we are fed today concerning sin are most often concerned with “feeling good” or “self esteem” and mislead us into brushing off our unrighteousness as a condition that is “just part of the facts of life.” We are told (usually not in clear terms, of course) that avoiding our sinful past and glossing over our failures is the point of being Christian. We become convinced that the past is actually forgotten, not just forgiven, but erased.  There’s a major problem with this, though, if you consider the thoughts below:  What happens to people who buy this bunk that everything is erased, yet still have to face the reminder of sin in their past?

In some ways, this wipe-out thing sounds really good. But it sure doesn’t seem to fit what the Bible says. There isn’t a passage I’ve ever read that says everything is just “gone” when we get saved. There are hundreds of passages about forgiveness, seeking it regularly, and even more about work, failure, suffering, pleading, praying, feelings of inadequacy, unworthiness, dirt and plain old misery.  There’s plenty of material written on “progressive sanctification” that all clearly states that our lives are not completely purged of all hint of evil at the moment of our belief.

I hate the times when past sins come back to haunt me. I still get those hackle-raising, embarrassed-flush sensations when I remember what I did with that book long ago, or the candy-bar episode at camp, or that event with that one friend. Remembering some of the insanely sinful activities in my pagan phase causes serious pain sometimes. I wish those memories would get swiped with the magnetic disc destroyer.

But they aren’t going anywhere. And, believe it or not, I think it’s better that way.

I have to be humbled. I must be reminded of my failures. The Lord has blessed me with a bittersweet gift that hurts more often than comforts.

But, like Israel, I don’t rate kindness and fuzzy-faith-facials. I can’t cover up what I was (what I AM). Neither internally nor externally can I pretend that nothing ever happened just because I’m forgiven. Just because I am forgiven doesn’t mean that I won’t return to my old defiance.

Note here: I am not supposing that it is right to dwell on all those past actions or make some sort of repetitive atonement for them. Past sins are covered by the blood of Christ once and for all, and the flashbacks are not indications that we have to revisit forgiveness.  If I seek forgiveness and repent from my sin, that is it, there is not a reflash-watch set to remind me that, oh, say six months from now I have to reset the forgiveness for that particular sin.

This blessing of memory has a practical application. If I am reminded of that which I am capable, in the humbling (sack-cloth and ashes humbling), I don’t get the chance to derail into oblivious false joy in my life.

I am to take joy in:
What Christ Did For Me and in My Relationship With God and that One Day I Will Be Free From This Sinful Condition

The Israelites needed to be kept from reaching the conclusion that the Promised Land had anything to do with their current state of righteousness.  It had nothing to do with their righteousness, but with God’s decision that the people were  His chosen children.  Heaven, my sanctification, my status here-now as a Christian have nothing to do with my righteousness, but everything to do with God’s choice to add me to the Book of Life.  Christ died for me, for all those who come to Him for restoration not because there’s some figure of merit within us that makes us worthy, but simply because we are His creation, His choice and His personal preference.

The periodic review of my screwups, keeping in mind the important fact that Every Single One of them was direct rebellion against the Father, is the most effective prod to keep me in line.  The passages below support the idea that there’s no glossing over my condition and that things aren’t just peachy yet.

We need a mediator still.  We need someone who can speak for us about us to the Father.  We’re not qualified, even if we’re great, high-performance Christians.  The Holy Spirit and Christ have the requisite position to keep the Father from shutting down the factory.  We, the helpless and unworthy, must bow to His mercy as we accept His grace.

Romans 8:26-27 portrays the Spirit as a mediator.

“Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. Now He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He makes intercession for the saints according to the will of God.”

Christ is the High Priest and Mediator in Hebrews 9:11-15.

“But Christ came as High Priest of the good things to come, with the greater and more perfect tabernacle not made with hands, that is, not of this creation. Not with the blood of goats and calves, but with His own blood He entered the Most Holy Place once for all, having obtained eternal redemption…”

A good take away from this: Sin is not just an activity to be avoided.  Sin is a condition that must be fought against.  As the military studies wars from long ago, we too must understand what sin in history really means.  Starting with how sin impacted the very first humans, how it affected the Jews on their approach to Canaan, how it resulted in Christ’s grisly death and how it will ultimately see the destruction of the world.  Seeing the power and impact of sin, both in the Scriptures and in our personal lives is a course of study that, while painful and tough to face, is very important.  It’s called hamartiology, if you want the fancy term, and there’s a lot to know.

I must admit that Deuteronomy really has been a good project to read and write on, for I have discovered quite a lot of important facts that apply to my life right here (duh, how surprising) in light of the Israelites. This is not just a book of the Law. It’s much more and I encourage anyone who wants to learn more about all this stuff to read the book, carefully and methodically (read: SLOW, SMALL CHUNKS, THINK and PRAY LOTS).

hat are my best memories of Christians? Who were the ones who best represented God?

Can’t recall a “militant” Christian in my past who really showed me what Christians meant by Godly. The ones who never really had to stuff theology down my throat, maybe? I think the people I saw just living in the Lord, Abiding in Him, were the ones.

How do I say it? I think the Lord is ideally one who is just there. Don’t get me wrong. He deserves and demands our attention. My beloved will identify with this. She’s more in tune with living than I am.

Goodness, no.  Don’t get the idea that I’ve gone to the deep end of fluff and mysticism.  I tried that, years ago.  It doesn’t work.  But neither does that of emotion-free theology.  Pharisees knew that life, and it had to be a lonely one.  Christ pricked them where it hurt most.  I’m not ditching some higher calling for some higher calling.    I’m claiming that there’s some life left in this mess, and it’s not puritanical, straightlaced, starched, stoic perfectionism.  I’ve been leaning the wrong way.

But why don’t more of us just take Him for granted? Not some “assumption” that God’ll work out everything and we don’t have to work at it. That’s laziness. At some point, God should be the single influence in my life that is truly taken for granted. He’s involved with everything. I should be talking to Him about all I do, all I want and all I dream. Everything I do should be done with Him in consideration, and everything I think should be in context with Him. He should go without saying in so much of what we do. Cry out in the times of greatest need or greatest joy. Be at peace in the times between. Love Him, Learn Him, but above all, Abide in Him. That means living. It doesn’t mean an artificial construct that leans toward either the mystical or the pharisaical. God is real. So why don’t we make Him real in our lives?

Is this the real ultimatum of Christianity? The more accustomed to God in my daily life I become, the more comfortable He should be? Do I need to flog myself daily with Christian virtue and condemnation? Sometimes it seems I do this. Sometimes I do this to others, too. I am fairly certain it is not my responsibility to beat the sense of God into others. That’s for Him to do (and He does so much more effectively than I do). He did it to me when no other could (my brother’s formidable education and passion for the work not withstanding).

Should I not be seeking, desperately running, to include my Lord in all that I do? Should that not be the point of praying without ceasing? Should that not be like all the quiet moments in King David’s life? Note there cannot be a total coverage of every moment in David’s life in the Bible. He had regular days too. As he was a man after God’s own heart, did he run most of his days in the simple, sometimes effortless company of his Lord? I’ll suspect he did. I’ll suspect that he was intimate with the Lord to the point that he could operate throughout a day without having to bash the cymbals of reminder every few minutes to keep himself in line.

What am I getting at? Over the past couple of months. With my writing and studying, spending more careful time with the Lord in His Word and in prayer, I’ve found some comfort. I’ve grown a little, I think. I’ve had a couple of crises too, but I survived them better than most in the past. I’m not so shaken, now. I pray that doesn’t actually lure me into some sense of complacency, but there’s gotta be some benefit to all this.

I get tempted to beat myself still. Gnawing on the bone of “what-if” really tires me out. I sure do enjoy those days when I just wake up with Him in my mind, and cruise through the day, with the trials and joys, still lifted in comfort that He is there, with me.

I lose that comfort when I am judgmental. I lose that comfort when I am caught in my sin. And I want more to regain that joy of living with Him.

Does it make sense to say that sometimes we are more caught up in living for our Lord than in living with our Lord? He made us, put us here, made our homeland and our lives. And He said it was all good. Of course there’s corruption. But if everything is completely corrupt, then there’s no point to any of it. God would waste the place out of hand if it was all bad. I’m trying to get at the fact that I need to just be. Not run so hard at becoming, but be. I strive and strain at the bit, and yet need to be content as I am here. There is some growth, some opportunity that just. plain. has. to. wait.

The greatest in the Bible all have great, motivating letters and books written of them. Many have written the words themselves. But look at the writing. There’s thousands of years listed there in the collection of writing. There’s a lot more said than that which is in print. What did Paul do on the road, walking or riding between his ministry destinations? Did he spend his days in self-deprecation before the Lord? Did he beat himself up in prayer before bedtime? I suspect he savored all the things he could while he was in transit. Especially Paul and the other disciples. I’ll bet Jesus taught them this, while they were on the road, too. Savor the moments of peace and creation, a good dinner and a night under the stars. Tomorrow we face the masses. Tomorrow we deal with sinners. Tomorrow brings death.

I’ve thought aloud on my other blog regarding this, but needed to bring it into a real perspective. So I took on the more focused approach with this attempt. I’ve been tagged, called out and humbled by not a few recently. I’m negative in real life. I’m judgmental and “holier than thou” in many situations. Some of this is inaccurate perception, but not all. And any sign, however small, of these sinful qualities is just plain unacceptable. I can be holy without being superior. I can be righteous without being intolerant. And that’s some of what others have noticed about me. And it conflicts with the real mundane parts of my life, wherein I’m not all squared away to begin with. I’m not the smartest cookie in the box at work, and I’m not the most perfect example of a sailor, either. So how can I project a super-holy image when not working or sailoring? It’s all or none, right? The only one who has ever pulled that off, anyway, is Christ. He really was holier than thou.

So I need to back off.
I often run into the depths of shadows, but should it not be characteristic of me to find joy and peace in my Lord, rather than misery and inadequacy? I enjoy the shadows. I enjoy writing about them. But I used to enjoy the sunlight, too. I find that enjoying life is less frequent an occurrence of late. I think it’s time to do some things I’ve meant to do, wanted to do for a long time. It’s sort of an early decision, since I’m still kinda stuck in the geographical situation that limits accomplishment of most goals. But really. I think some life is waiting for me to live.

For my girls, I want more time. I want to make it, not ask for it. I want the park, long walks, staying up late in the back yard. Just Plain Fun. For my beloved, just breathing. There’s a song about that. Just Breathe. Shut up and breathe. And we could really get along with that idea. For others. I have a couple of pursuits I’d like to pursue. Some that have lingered for a few years. Others for oh, maybe more than a third of my life and longer. I want to live. I’m tired of judging and evaluation and digging too deep and fighting over nothings. I’m tired of so much worry. I owe some things. I want to know if I can pay out a few things. I want to reclaim or revisit some things. There’s too much I turned away from or turned off over the last fifteen or so years, either because I was pagan or because I became a pharisee. There wasn’t really much else between the two. Some of it was because I got too involved in the details, and still am.

Don’t take this the wrong way, but I want to be blond. I want to be like my Gwennie. She just does stuff. In her good moments, she just does stuff. I want to be that kid again, who just knows God is there. Who owes God everything, but in turn accepts everything from God. My girls miss me unconditionally. They trust me and their mother for the monumental things which they cannot themselves obtain. They trust us for the things they do not understand, whether we realize it or not (which should be a very humbling thing for any parent to consider). I want to trust God in that way. I want to Abide in Him.

I want to take God for granted. Not forgotten, but included. In everything. So that God goes without saying. Because He’s already there. I think He’ll not be overly impressed with me locking myself in a tower of theology and propriety. I think The Lord, when He says I’ll abide in Him, He’ll abide in me, means that this life is to be lived righteously, but not only that, it is to be lived, period.. This isn’t an artificial construct. It can’t be forced into the black-and-white environment I’ve created.

Does that make sense?

There’s a song, by Steve Taylor, “Dream In Black And White” from Now the Truth Can Be Told. The discussion is very different from mine, but there is a correlated similarity.

Comments are specially invited on this one. If you can fine tune this mess, or have a tale to relate, just stick it on the comments. I’m asking for you.

Oh, Permalink: My Anthology, poetry: Paper Screams

I’m finally putting the book together. You can help by visiting the site and leaving your suggestions!

________________________

found this while trying to clean up my computer today.

I didn’t get much cleaning done, but I guess my finding was well done.

Date: Fri, 15 Aug 2003 10:18:55 -0700 (PST)
From: <pookaseah@yahoo.com>

Now that I’ve come around to seeing the light, I’ll
try to define some stuff about me and what I see as
good moves in the right direction.

1. Firstly, I am not only proud that I have found
Christ, but I am deeply humbled, which should come as
no surprise to any of you who have known me during my
absence.

2. I greatly desire some way to incorporate the past
12 years of experiences I’ve collected into
identifying with this relationship to God and
Christians. I don’t want to look back and find that
all my intellectual pursuits have been a complete
waste of time.

3. I want to continue my education in a manner that
is still challenging and broad. I want to approach it
from the eyes of a Christian.

4. My history is of pride, selfishness and control.
I need to face these things. I expect to continue
facing them for a long time. Experience has shown me
so far that these three things are seriously
challenging. They are also the source of my long
denial of the Faith.

These four statements, I think, should be broad enough
that I’m not “pinning down” my plans. I want to start
off on the right foot, allowing God to guide me in the
right direction as I know is right.

Thanks for all the congrats and thank you all even
more for the prayer, love and acceptance you have
offered during my self-imposed exile. You provided me
the last key to all this in your examples. God was
willing to accept me back into his arms, and you
reflected it, in some cases daily.

R.

That was written about 4 years and 7 months ago.

I’ve discovered new weaknesses and sins.

I’ve definitely broadened my education.

I’m vastly more humbled (and more, daily) at my condition.

I’ve found that my past is very different in meaning and significance now, especially when compared to now.

The exultant joyful feeling has mellowed.

The love has made me a totally different person.

The ability to find forgiveness is inexplicably wonderful.

So is the Lord’s grace in enabling me to repent.

I am my family’s husband and father as I never was before the fourteenth of August, four years ago.

I’m happy.

I have had four years and seven months of working to glorify God and enjoy Him.

It’s been rough, and it’s been easy, but I won’t trade those years for anything.

Praise Him.

OBTW: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HEATHER: CLICK THE KAKE

(not that one! THIS one: KAKE)

etting the shower all temperature-normed (hard to do here in HotLand) and brushing my teeth this morning, I had the sudden chance to ruminate on my ill-spent weekend. Having completely wasted all of Friday afternoon and the entirety of Saturday really left me unsettled and miffed at myself. I didn’t even sleep well. So this morning I got up and started reading some of my favorite Bible related blogs just to get a fresh, easy cruising start.

But when I split for that shower-shave-teethbreesh, I had nothing but my brain running in my head.

And here is what the frequently misused gray mass told me.

I have work to do.

Yep.

That’s it. The whole horrifying answer to Life, the Universe and Everything.

I have work to do.

Have you noticed that, post salvation, that everything seems to be work? I have. Love is a thing we practice. It’s not just waiting there for us to give or receive. We have to work at it.

Forgiveness is not something there for us to simply give out. We have to exercise it.

Kindness is not a quality. It is a skill.

Humility is not a state. It is an activity.

Righteousness is not an attribute. It is a choice.

One day all these things will be synonymous with being me. 1st John confirms this in 3:2

“Beloved, now we are children of God; and it has not yet been revealed what we shall be, but we know that when He is revealed, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is.”

We know His qualities, for He told us what they were, and He demonstrated them for us here on Earth, 2,000 years ago.

But I’m not there yet. So here is the reality. Everything in my Christian life, after His Salvation is given and His Forgiveness is given, is skill. I must do, not be. I cannot be, for I am not perfected yet. I must do those things God has set before me.

1st John 3:3, “And everyone who has this hope in Him purifies himself, just as He is pure.”

I have to do the task of putting on the Armor of God.

“Sand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. And take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, “

I have to practice love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control, discernment and, most of all, faith! None of these are handed to me (or you) on a platter, ready for us to just dig in. The Lord is right here to enable us, to give us all that we need to do the work, but He Is Not Going To Do That Work For Us. Nowhere does it say that we’re going to wake up one morning and BE anything other than His Children, forgiven and saved from eternity separated from Him. We won’t BE any of these things until He comes to bring us Home. Until then, we have to work.

James 2:14 and beyond brings up this huge quandary about works and salvation.

“What does it profit, my brethren, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can faith save him?”

Liken this to the baseball team you root for. If I were to get really good at baseball (in Church, we’ll call this studying my Bible and knowing it backward-forward), then go to practice for the season startup. Then, if I were to get on the team and be called a baseball player (in Church, well call this being labeled Christian). Then I just stood around and drank the Gatoraid and hung out with the guys in the bullpen, never heading out to the field (In Church we’ll call this weekend warriorism). Would I be a baseball player? Would I get my own collectible card that people would beg me to sign?

NO. I would be a bum. A fake. A sham. Nowadays, the term Loser would have me in the definition at dictionary.com.

I have to act. I have to practice. I have to continually turn around and check my work. All the qualities of a Christian are WORK. Skillsets. Christians have toolboxes. They are toolboxes. So are we empty of tools? Or are our tools rusty? They rust really fast in this rotten world of ours, and we have a tendency to let them fall out and forget they were even there.

Romans 12:1-2 “I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.”

Notice the lack of “you are” statements in this pair of verses. It says be, but always in conjunction with an action. Be transformed by the renewing. We have to work to be transformed. Work! Practice.

List of things to do today. I have to practice (in no order of significance):

• FAITH
• TRUST
• HOLINESS
• BELIEF
• LOVE
• KINDNESS
• GENTLENESS
• GOODNESS
• SELF CONTROL
• DISCERNMENT
• JOY
• PEACE
• PATIENCE
• PRAYER
• DILIGENCE
• INTEGRITY
• LOYALTY
• PURITY

There are plenty more skills I need in my box of tools, and some just need some maintenance.

It is amazing what a weekend of wastefulness will do to that toolkit. I got my forgiveness, the only thing I’m gonna get handed to me (but I had to ask). Now to repent, practice repentance.

Get to work.

hy do we love? Why do Christians practice love? Is it because we’re commanded to love?

“No one has seen God at any time. If we love one another, God abides in us, and His love has been perfected in us. By this we know what we abide in Him and He in us, because He has given us of His Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent the Son as Savior of the world. Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God. And we have known and believed the love that God has for us. God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him.”

If God is invisible, how do we see Him? How does anyone see Him? This is one of those mysteries that demonstrates a couple of vital and fascinating qualities of God. God demonstrates His existence through Christians.

If you want to experience God, find His people. If you want to see God, go into His Church. That is how He is found today. God also reveals His great power through this mystery. Only God can make Himself known through His people. I cannot make myself known through my kids. If you want to see me, you can’t go hang out with my girls for a few hours and then depart with the confidence that you’ve seen me. Doesn’t work. Only God can do that with people.

This passage introduces the truth that proves Christians. We are not simply following a commandment to love, but we are loving because we are abiding in Christ. The Lord enables our love, and as we become more like Him we will (by His blessing, not by our choice) love more. We will love our brethren in the Church more and we will love our fellow men outside the Church more.

Here is the simple progression from zero to sixty in terms of love. We meet Christ and give Him our lives, accepting the forgiveness for sin and the atonement for the penalty of sin. We begin in His love and then continue in His love. As we grow in Him (which He will both enable and affect), our love will grow as well. When we are Christians, it is inevitable and fact that we will love more as long as we live on this earth. Not because God is rewarding us for our dedication to Him or because we are getting better with our Bibles and knowledge, but because God is love and if we are His children then we, too, are love.

CRITICAL in our sanctification is this idea of love. I believe we could boil down all the processes and definitions of sanctification throughout history and the result would be love.

• If we are sanctified, we are loving God.
  
  I Peter 1:16 “But as He who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, because it is written, ‘Be holy for I am holy.’”
  • You can try to be holy all day long, but a genuine love for the Lord will propel you into a desire to be holy. There is no other motivation than that love of God and His qualities that will work. He will enable us through our love for Him.
• If we are sanctified, we are loving each other.
  
  James 2:8 “If you really fulfill the royal law according to the Scripture, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself,’ you do well.”
  •  We can try to love all day long, but if we love the Lord, we will move past the hypocritical, self-preservation and partiality that drives the world’s type of love into the completely sacrificial and selfless love that God has defined as the real love.
• If we are sanctified, we are loving the Word.
  
  Hebrews 4:12 “For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.”
  • If we love God, we will want to see ourselves as He sees us. When we love the Word, having accepted it as God’s word and His expression of love to us, then we will seek to treat it with the honesty and fairness of love. And we will love the way it can pare the corruption from our lives and release us from our bonds to love more and more.

• If we are sanctified, we are loving our fellow man.
  
  Luke 5:31 “Jesus answered and said to them, ‘Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners, to repentance.’”
  • When we love God, we will perceive the purpose He as set for us. We will love our fellow men for God sent His Son to them to save them. Love will drive us to reach for the ungodly and bring them to Christ.

If we have known and believed the love God has for us, which is absolutely characteristic of being saved, then we will be driven to love by that love for Him. If we know love, then we partake in that love. Christians can receive and give love. That circuit is broken in the unsaved, and only God can fix it. Once the circuit is closed and the contacts are stable, then we are Christians and we will love just as God does.

Once again, as in previous passages, I feel the need to confirm that all of this is a progression. We grow, we persevere, we run the race to reach the finish. God will work in us to perfect this love, this sanctification, as we walk with Him. Don’t sweat the imperfection with impatience and frustration. Savor the gifts of love, the fine tuning and improvements God makes as they happen. We should strive for greater and greater love of Him and our brethren, but remember that it is God who makes this work. Have peace and patience as He works His miracle within us.

ack to the discussion of sin. John is contrasting our old state against our new state. Also, more on Christ’s purpose on this earth.

“Whoever commits sin also commits lawlessness, and sin is lawlessness. And you know that He was manifested to take away our sins, and in Him there is no sin. Whoever abides in Him does not sin. Whoever sins has neither seen Him nor known Him.

Little children, let no one deceive you. He who practices righteousness is righteous, just as He is righteous. He who sins is of the devil, for the devil has sinned from the beginning. For this purpose the son of God was manifested, that He might destroy the works of the devil. Whoever has been born of God does not sin, for His seed remains in him; and he cannot sin, because he has been born of God.”

THE QUESTION

Nope. A Christian is not of the devil. And a Christian does not sin. This is confusing, isn’t it? The answer to the dilemma can be found in a couple of ways. The first way is to study Greek and figure out the etymology of the actual words, and then figure out how it’s all applied.

I’m going to go with the second way. This is mostly because I don’t have a clue about Greek and only a passing interest in etymology. Languages are a passion for me, but only as far as they are fairly easy to work with or I already have some experience in a specific tongue. Greek isn’t in my vocabulary. MacArthur goes into the word study in his study notes, so I have some limited help there.

Way #2 is a little easier on our educational limitations, but still requires some work. Scanning all through 1^st John, I find that sin is a primary thread of thought. I’ve also learned, from chapters 1 and 2 that it is uncharacteristic for a Christian to be in sin. “In sin” means having a consistently sinful lifestyle or being consumed in sin.

John is talking about the difference between the saved and unsaved again. Christians do sin. It’s the taint of the world, which at least we have hope of casting off one day. Sinners are of the devil. Sinners live in sin.

So if I’m a Christian, I know I am of Christ. There must be an explanation. To repeat myself, sin is not characteristic of Christians. This passage is a review of the first two chapters’ discourses on sin.

LAWLESSNESS
About lawlessness and He who was manifested to take away sin: Christ’s purpose was to remove that habitual, ongoing, life-ruling sin in which we lived. Before His purpose was fulfilled, we did not, could not, know Christ. We were completely separate from Him and there was no way to reach Him. So our Lord completed his mission to free us from that bond. The two fundamental problems with sin are its total control (we cannot stop ourselves) and absolute separation from God (for all eternity). Lawlessness is failing to conform to Christ’s Law. Lawlessness is a sign of someone who doesn’t know Christ.

Christ died on the cross to pay the penalty for our sins and thereby liberated us from the inescapable, which enabled us to call on Him to end the control of our sinful natures. This opened the passage to God and our relationship was restored.

All that we need to qualify under this promise is to abide in Him. That really means confession, repentance and faith. If we trust in our Lord for our release, we’ll have it. And we will no longer qualify as children of the devil.

The huge importance of this passage is that we must not forget the qualifications. We must abide in Christ. This doesn’t mean going through the Christian motions of Bible, Church, pray, wear Christian T-shirts, run a God-blog or any other activity. We have to LIVE the life of a Christian; the life of Christ. We’re to abide in Him. We are already recreated in His image, as unfinished as we are now, and we can only improve if we press on with our new lifestyle.

I think I really chased the rabbit there, but it was a good chase.

GROWTH

The last thing in this passage is the Seed. There are plenty of seed references in the Word. They all have to do with proper agricultural techniques used to get growth and produce from plants. Soil, water, food, cultivation and so on are all laid out for us in the Bible. Here John is talking about that gift we received upon our salvation. It’s the new beginnings of a child of God. We were born again, so we are small, like a seed, in our Christianity.

What I want to finish with is a final passage has to do with the idea of growth (though in this metaphor Christ calls us branches). I’ll finish off with John 15:1-11, for it explains all about the growth of the seed and the correlation to our growth as Christians. It’s very encouraging to see that 1^st John uses such similar language. It’s clear there’s no special trick to understanding the Bible when you look at this passage and the ones we’ve read in 1^st John.

“I am the true vine, and My Father is the vine dresser. Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit. You are already clean because of the word which I have spoken to you. Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me.

I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in Me, he is cast out as a branch and is withers; and they gather them and throw them into the fire, and they are burned. If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will ask what you desire and it shall be done for you. By this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit; so you will be My disciples.

As the Father loved me, I also have loved you; abide in My love. If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love, just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love.

These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full.”

THE SCARY RIDDLE

Final (final) note. There is a very serious undercurrent in these passages. It’s pretty overt, actually, but so often we always try to downplay the negative stuff. The clear characteristics of a Christian are godliness. Only God and I can answer the following question for certain. Other Christians can make very accurate guesses, though, if they are discerning:

o, time to get back on track with 1st John.

This is a song . John wrote a song. It’s not just a plain old Bible passage. And it’s not just a song because somebody wrote a tune to go with it or anything. It was a song ages before we had cool pianos and organs and stuff to make it hip and modern.

It goes like this:

“Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us,

that we should be called children of God!

Therefore the world does not know us,

because it did not know Him.

Beloved, now we are children of God,

and it has not yet been revealed what we shall be,

but we know that when He is revealed,

we shall be like Him,

for we shall see Him as He is.

And everyone who has this hope in Him purifies himself,

just as He is pure.”

Here’s what John is communicating: Amazement and wonder. Look at what God has done! We are the children of God! I have to keep reminding myself, daily at times, to reclaim that sense of awe that God has made us what we are, and has promised us so much. I have miserable days, weeks or even months when I let this perspective on God fade away. It’s easy to let go and hard to reclaim. My warning to anybody reading this: DON’T LOSE SIGHT OF THE MESSAGE IN THESE VERSES!

John hits a kind of sad note in the next sentence, but it’s still filled with that poetic sense. The rest of the world doesn’t get it. The unsaved just can’t comprehend what has happened to us. They don’t understand God, they’ve turned from Him and in doing so have nothing but confusion when looking at His children.

We were like this too, we children of the Lord, and I hope I never forget where I came from. I can grasp the futility of ever being able to understand being saved, which reminds me of the incredible change that occurred when I did finally come to Christ. In addition (no pre-pun intended), when a Christian, who has forgotten the condition from which he came, witnesses, he is just like an elementary school math teacher who can’t break out of the college-grad mentality when he’s in front of his 7-year olds. The communication is crippled from the start. This doesn’t mean dwell in the past and be miserable about our condition and background. It does mean we need a humble spirit with compassion for our lost fellows. Speaking the truth with authority does not mean lording our lofty status over the heathen and reminding them of how low they are.

Next John goes back to the awe and wonder. We are children of God, we don’t know what that is going to look like, in a mirror, but we’ll find out. It’s a promise. Not only is it a promise, it’s something we can understand and conclude with truth. First off, we’re children right now. What do children do?

They grow up. So if we’re children, abiding in Him, walking in the light, walking in His Word, doing His commandments, what are we going to be like when we grow up? It is said we’re products of our environment, right? I’m very much like my own earthly parents in many ways now that I’m grown up in body. So it stands to plain reason that, if it works in God’s creation – physical, it should work the same way in God’s creation – spiritual. When I grow up in Christ (completed when He is revealed: When He returns, revealed as the King of His Kingdom), I’ll be like Him. One only needs to look at Christ’s characteristics to find out what that will be like.

Back to growing up. We shall see Him as He is. We are unable to see Christ as He is right now because we haven’t been purified. See how the last two sentences tangle into each other. Everyone who has this hope purifies himself just as Christ is pure. So it’s the explanation why we can’t see Him fully right now. We get glimpses, of course. Christ is always tapping us on the shoulder with these hints and glints of being like Him, seeing Him. In every good work, every step we take in walking with Him in His commandments, in reading His Word and in praying we have the opportunity to get a bit more view of His whole picture. But we won’t get all of it until two things happen: we are purified and Christ is revealed. And both happen at the same time.

Why should I work so hard if it’s all going to be completed at the same time? Do I really need to worry about purifying myself if He’s going to clean up my messy self when He returns to claim His children and kingdom? There are all kinds of good answers to that. You might read James 1:21-25, or Colossians 3:5-7. Plenty of great commandments and lessons.

But there’s a really quantified answer right here in the passage I’m studying. Hope. I have hope. If I don’t have hope, why should I even deal with sanctification (which is what purify means). Starting again at the beginning: I don’t hope I am going to heaven or hope I am going to be like Christ or hope I’m a child of God. I have hope because I am going to heaven, I am going to be like Christ and I am a child of God. Since I have that hope, I must believe what I’m being told, or, more correctly, since I believe what I am being told, I have that hope. Hope is a noun here, not a verb.

I believe what God has said here in this passage. Not only that, but I believe it with a passion, a sense of awe and amazement and joy, and it leaves me with such a sense of hope that I cannot help but desire purification. I want to be sanctified. I’m excited to be like Christ, to see Him in all His radiant power and majesty and holiness and all the other incredible things about Him. Like a little scruffy kid who wants to be just like his daddy, or a pretty girl who tries on mommy’s finest clothes because Mommy is the most wonderful thing to imagine being, I imagine and try to imitate my Lord.

Now, the sad and rough part (not to finish on a sour note, but there it is). It’s also a reality check to see at the very end that we will be purified. That means we aren’t pure right now. And we are not going to be all the way purified until Christ comes for us. In a Christian, this knowledge should drive us even harder to defeat the sin that besets us. Knowing that I’m infected makes me all the more determined to pursue my health, my appearance as a Christian. I want so much to be like Christ.

In 1st Peter 1:15, we get a nice explanation of what we will be like, and what we will see:

“but as He who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, because it is written, ‘Be holy, for I am holy.’”

Romans 1:16-17 talks about characteristics of God too, and how we are to be, and where, exactly, we find the details:

“For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ, for it is the power of God to salvation for everyone who believes, for the Jew first and also for the Greek. For in it the righteousness of God is revealed from faith to faith; as it is written, ‘The just shall live by faith.’”

All right. Though I was only typing, I’m out of breath. This passage really means a lot to me, and I was sort of talking to myself as I wrote. I am really excited about the reminders and renewed sense of hope I have today. Praise the Lord for this wonderful set of three verses!